THRILLER
Episode 30: IF IT'S A MAN — HANG UP!
Written by Brian Clemens
Produced by Ian Fordyce
Directed by Shaun O'Riordan
(tx date April 12, 1975)
fr: Si c'est un homme, raccrochez!
Model Suzy Martin's beauty is admired by many. However, at least one of her fans is a lethal lunatic.
A rollercoaster ride: turning points every minute, suspects galore, excellent memorable characters, first-class performances by Conti, Harper, and Byrne.
According to Ian Kerr this is an adaptation of one of Clemens' plays, Lover. According to Pete Stampede it's the other way round:
"[Thriller is] Clemens' anthology series of feature-length tales that (despite being made on the British system of 625-line videotape) was also shown in the US as part of ABC's Wide World Of Entertainment. Despite Clemens' strong female characters in The Avengers, however, he seemed rather too fond for my liking of the storyline of a lone woman, in this case Carol Lynley, the obligatory second-rank American star, being menaced by a killer and/or rapist (...); he used it in at least two other Thriller episodes, and re-jigged this one as a West End play, Lover."
Das Model Suzy Martin hat eine ganze Schar von Verehrern, wird jedoch von einem anonymen Anrufer terrorisiert. Dieser greift dann zu noch drastischeren Mitteln.
If It's A Man, Hang Up! ist eine Achterbahnfahrt: Es gibt pro Minute eine Wendung, fast alle (!) Beteiligten werden ordentlich verdächtig gemacht, die Charakterisierung ist mit ihrer Fülle einprägsamer Figuren (die Polizisten, Bruno, etc.) vorbildlich. Die Besetzung der Nebenrollen ist mit Michael Byrne, Gerald Harper, Tom Conti etc. vorzüglich.
Rating: ****+
The alternative version of this episode has superimposed titles during the first two minutes, no umbrella title, no teaser as such and has fast-rolling, complete crew credits at the end. Like the PAL TVM it is approx. 75 minutes long and has a "string" (as opposed to a "woodwind") soundtrack. According to Ian Kerr ITC confirmed in a letter in the late 1980s that a "longer format" had been tested. "Tested" in this case must mean "broadcast" because this episode had a 90-minute-slot in the UK (Kerr, "Filed Under Fear"). Whether traditional Thriller titles and a "conventional" soundtrack were ever used is not known. Whatever the original ATV version is - it must be longer than the original US version. The US-TVM has a "conventional" soundtrack and is short of several minutes worth of footage. It is safe to assume that the alternative version was either tested only in the UK or rejected with regard to transmission in the US. The upshot is that a "fisheye" version of this episode may have been shown only in the US and may not exist anymore. OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO CHECK THE DVD
The alternative version is useful in several respects:
a) It explains how the extensive US credits might have been handled (see US versions).
b) It explains how the PAL TVM became what it is (note that there are slight differences between these two with regard to music and a couple of reaction shots - details to follow).
c) It provided researchers with "textless material": a credit sequence, a final shot and a couple of stills (no fisheyes!).
d) Chances are 50/50 that this is the original UK version.
For convenience, here's a list of the different versions:
(a) Original ATV, 75 mins, soundtrack and titles details unknown)
b) Original US version, 65-70 minutes, conventional soundtrack and titles
c) US TVM, length as b) (plus new titles), soundtrack as b)
d) PAL TVM, length as a) (plus new titles), "string" soundtrack
e) Alternative version, length as a) and d), soundtrack as d) - as stated above, e) may be identical to a).
This account would of course be incomplete without a few unanswered questions:
The alternative version credits ATV Head of Drama Cecil Clarke as "Executive Producer". That would be his first "British" Thriller credit. Or does it prove that the alternative version was intended for the American market in the first place?
Both If It's a Man TVMs have even more crew credits (20) than all other TVMs (three of them have 18). Why? Obviously in this TVM the credits roll in a fashion similar to the alternative version, but this is hardly sufficient to prove that the former was derived from the latter. With the TVM credits being the sloppy job that they are it is very hard to tell what kind of logic they were assembled by.
The following is an attempt to compare the PAL TVM and the US TVM.
The NTSC music & effects soundtrack (i.e. score, sound effects [barking] and VOICE) is entirely different. Examples:
a) Jazz music during Suzy's first photo session (although it's very similar and obviously taken from the same piece).
b) Murchison enters Suzy's flat: traditional score as opposed to string score.
NTSC: There's a fade after Suzy calls the police. In the PAL TVM there's a straight cut.
NTSC: Fade out after The Voice takes a seat in the rocking chair.
PAL TVM extended scene: Suzy's car approaches, she's on her way to a photo session. An old lady leaves a phone box which is then occupied by The Voice who manipulates the receiver before calling Greg Miles' studio.
Time: 0'50
NTSC different scene: When Suzy receives the phone call in the studio there's a cut when she says 'It'd better be.' The next thing we see is the killer's hand tampering with the receiver. Suzy's voice is heard saying 'hello' once.
Time: 0'10
PAL: Suzy says to Girl Friday: "It's probably about that photo call in Alaska. I told them I hate the cold." She takes up the receiver, says 'hello'.
Time: 0'09
PAL TVM extra scene: Murchison cleans Suzy's flat. He takes a glass she has been drinking from to his lips. Cut to photo session.
Betty: Am I glad that one's over. Oh, I don't really mind fashion stuff, I mean fashion's all right, fashion's fun. Also sometimes they forget to take the dresses back and Betty gets herself a new outfit.
Suzy: Is that all for today or is there another call tomorrow?
Betty: Greg, will we need ...
Girl Friday: He slipped out.
Cut to man fixing rose behind windscreen wiper. Cut to
Betty: I keep promising myself to take a correspondence course in (...) It will be less exhausting than this.
(Enter) Greg: It started raining. – (throwing a coat in Betty's direction) Hey, get that. – What are you off to?
Suzy: Home and a hot bath.
Greg: You haven't even changed.
Suzy: Oh Greg (...). I'm tired.
Greg: Hang on just a second. I bought this for us. [Holds a bottle of champagne]
Suzy: I'll take a [inaudible], Greg.
Cut to Suzy getting into car, starting it, rose falls off. Fade out of sound and picture.
Time: 1'58
NTSC: Fade out after Terry says 'When they fly the nest - they fly.' (Straight cut in PAL TVM)
PAL TVM extended scenes:
Photo studio.
Betty, putting down receiver: She isn't there.
Greg: Or she isn't answering. – I'm going over there.
Cut to Murchison in his room, magazine and scissors on his desk. Cut to Suzy's front door.
Terry, to Greg: She's not seeing anybody.
Greg: What do you mean, she's not seeing anybody? I've got a photo call to set up. (...) that's all about it. What is all this anyway?
Terry: Suzy's in bed.
Greg: With anybody I know? (Terry hits him in the stomach.)
Terry, angry: Her brother was killed. Run down and killed early this morning.
Greg, nonplussed: Her brother?! (Terry slams door.)
Cut to Murchison in his room, busy with a magazine clipping.
Time: 1'03
PAL TVM extended scene: When Murchison refuses the tip and leaves the flat Suzy starts combing her hair. The camera lingers on her a little longer. She breathes out visibly (and annoyedly?).
Time: 0'02?
The same facial expression is repeated after the dialing (i.e. seen for the first time in the NTSC version!).
(The significance of this is considerable. In the light of the previous scene the viewer gets the impression that Suzy considers Murchison a pain in the arse – according to the PAL version. There is no such connotation in the NTSC version.)
PAL TVM extended scene: Killer turns the dial seven times (as opposed to six in the NTSC version).
(Yes, this is true! I'm pretty sure BTW this is where the voice is the same in both versions.)
Soundtrack: In the NTSC version the voice goes on after saying "a dog's life". He starts with (?) and becomes less and less audible. "Yes that's right. Go into the kitchen. Hurry." The PAL version substitutes music.
PAL: Fade out after the killer hangs up.
NTSC: The killer doesn't hang up, he just touches the receiver. Fade out after that.
Time: 0'03
PAL TVM extended scene: Lovell in police station, a young policeman enters.
YP: Oh hello.
Lovell: Hello.
YP: Where is ... where is Henry tonight then?
Lovell: He'll do a different shift.
YP: Haven't seen much of him lately. (Plays around with torch taken from locker.)
Lovell: Neither have I.
YP: Got himself a girlfriend, has he? (Exits.)
Lovell notices the advert with Suzy's picture in Venner's locker.
Time: 0'20
PAL TVM extended scene (after door bangs):
Something drops on the studio floor (a bulb?) and breaks. Miles, annoyed, Betty watching.
Betty: Even Napoleon lost a battle. Unfortunately it happened to be his last, but he lost just the same.
Miles: That's very profound.
Betty: Just an assessment of the Suzy Martin front.
Miles: Look, it isn't Suzy Martin, my darling. If it was Suzy Martin I could cope. It's that Terry Cleeves. (..)
Betty: It was Suzy who said no.
Miles: Yes, but he put her up to it, didn't he. - O darn this thing.
Betty: Are you going to risk another putdown? Another refusal? Tonight? Tomorrow night? I hope not tomorrow night. I happen to be free tomorrow night. You remember me, don't you? And remembering me will help you forget Terry Cleeves. () Ego boosted? Yes, I think suitably encouraged. I could put him out of your mind forever.
Time: 1'02 (The NTSC TVM sacrifices a nice match cut.)
(to be completed)
NOTE: This is a compilation of the MAJOR differences. There may have been a considerable number of details that slipped my attention or which cannot be detected via the equipment I use.
Cast:
Carol Lynley (Suzy Martin), Gerald Harper (Greg Miles), David Gwillim (Henry Venner), Tom Conti (Bruno Varella), Michael Byrne (Richard Lovell), Paul Angelis (Terry Cleeves), John Cater (Murchison), Colin Etherington (Peter Marnley), Susan Holderness (Betty), Jo Beadle (Girl Friday), Michael Cronin (Advertising Man), Michael Chamberlain (Young Policeman), Beatrice Shaw (Old Lady).
Crew*:
Wardrobe Supervisor Sue Lecash Make-up Supervisor Dianne Joyce Film Cameraman Tony Mander Film Editor Stanley Staffe Senior Cameraman Mike Whitcutt Sound Director Bob Woodhouse Senior Vision Control John Willment VTR Editor Al Pigden Music Coordinator Paul Clay Music Laurie Johnson Lighting Director Jimmy Boyers Designer Roger Allan Senior Floor Manager Richard Holloway Floor Manager Paul Harrison Stage Manager Maggie Summerfield Vision Mixer Mary Forrest Administrator Ron Brown Production Secretary Jenifer Blackden Production Assistant Margaret Robinson Executive Producer Cecil Clarke.
*re-assembled from available on-screen credits
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